Is Looking at other People’s Love Life Worth It?

July 17, 2019 손님 Guest

Our romantic relationships do not exist in isolation from other couples around. It is in the human nature to juxtapose oneself with others, and love life is no exception. Is it good to constantly view your relationship in the context of other people’s experience? Let’s find out.

Love may find us in the strangest places. If you are keen on finding a caring wife who is keen to start a strong family, consider Russian brides that can be found right here on our website. People encounter their second halves at work, in pubs, night clubs, beach resorts, or simply in the street. Online dating, however, is by far the most common and convenient tool.

Social contrasting

Parents, friends, and even tv characters provide us with examples of failed or successful bonding. Relationship comparisons are a well-known phenomenon, and it helps us to understand ourselves. We can find better sense of our own romantic experience by analyzing those around us.

Is your relationship truly happy? Could you possibly stay together, or is it better to break the bond? The attachments we see give us evidence to support our self-reflection. These comparisons are classified as either “upward” or “downward”, and your own relationship is viewed as superior or superior to other people’s experience, respectively.

Generally, positive comparisons are more likely, according to research findings. The conclusions you draw will usually belong to one of the following categories developed by Morry and Sucharyna in their 2016 study “Relationship social comparison interpretations and dating relationship quality, behaviors, and mood”:

Positive upward: “They are so happy, and we will be happy, too!”
Positive downward: “We are much more interesting than them.”
Two types of negative Interpretations via comparing:
- Negative upward: “It is obvious that they are more loved than we are.”
- Negative downward: “We are just as boring as them.”

Although, nowadays it’s not uncommon for men to get a date without any hard social work. There are websites referred to as “sugar dating sites”. Men usually state their net worth, income and find a partner based just on that. For example, one of the biggest websites offering sugar dating service is Seeking.com (aka Seeking Arrangement). You can take a look at this seeking arrangement review — it gives a pretty good understanding of the matter. The process is very transparent, so girls there know what they’re looking for and men know what they’re getting.

What gets revealed

If you find yourself making unfavorable contrasts more often, this could point to the following:

you are less committed to this person;
you do not ignore alternative candidates;
you are less satisfied in the relationship;
you pursue behavior patterns that make the relationship less intact.

On the other hand, favorable comparisons imply healthy relationship functioning. You are focused on your partner and feel committed to the love you share.

What does it mean?

Could negative interpretations cause changes in a relationship? Some experimental data points to such a possibility. Every day, we go online on social media and look at other couples’ posts. Facebook, Instagram, and the like supply a wealth of information affecting our perception of our own love life.

What is the takeaway? Do pay attention to the way you evaluate your own satisfaction in relation to other couples. Your assessment may reveal important things about your relationship. However, be sure to consider the objectivity of such evaluations. Ask yourself whether your negative evaluation stems from actual problems in your life, or from illusory happiness projected by users on social media.